That's right. You know who you are. Your husband dreads the thought of consignment season. Kind of like a reverse of Deer Widows Season. You spend your time thinking out your plan of attack. Which sales will you sell at? Which ones will you attend as a guest of a friend? Which ones will you volunteer for? For you, seeing the calendar switch over to February and July makes you start to dig through the closets and get out your calendar and salivate as you see who's sale is when. Everyday is like Christmas when you open your mailbox to find those brightly colored postcards enticing you to come play at the sales, and let's not even talk about your email! Frequent reminders, lest you forget your favorite sale is next week!Want to see how bad we have it? Watch our Consignamaniac Music Video!
But how bad do you really have it? Do you have what it takes to be crowned this seasons Consignamaniac™?
Consignamaniacs™ began when my dear friend Paula drove all the way from Kansas to consign at my sale. My husband said she needed some kind of "award". "You know... like a Consignamaniac something. Because you ladies are all crazy!"
True. And when my husband wanted me to sell my beloved Packratmobile and move me into "a spacious mid sized sedan with a large trunk"... this was my response...
Can't you see me pulling into the driveway with this, horn just a honking.... "Hey Honey... will this fit in the trunk of a Ford Taurus?"
You think this could not possibly be my vehicle. Sadly, you would be wrong. You see, I have an addiction to big plastic yard art. It started when I had to buy toys for Fundom Kids. And then my addiction took over my life. That's right, A Little Tikes Gazebo on the top with table and chairs and a lovely little cozy coupe to top it all off. In the passenger seat, a Little Tikes fridge and that other thing in the middle is a doll house. Okay, you are now thinking, that is not so bad. A little crazy maybe. You would have probably used real tie downs instead of the flimsy rope I used. It's a miracle I made it home with that big old thing on top. But wait.... there's more...
Here is what it looked like from the back. The whale teeter totter, more table and chairs and parts of the gazebo. But what's that you say? Oh, you see the Little Tikes double slide climb and slide play house too? No, I couldn't see out any window but my front one... and even that was half obstructed! But it doesn't stop there...
Yes, in addition to the Gazeebo play house, the double slide climb and slide, there was yet another climb and slide on top of all that! Are you insane? You are asking yourself. Why yes, I am. But wait... we haven't even gotten to the second row!
Now the 3 large pieces of play equipment have been removed and you can see the second row of my plastic yard art. 2 kitchens, another table and chairs, 2 rocking horses, a couple of doll houses... at this point I really can't remember what all we stuffed in there. It was an impressive feat I must admit.
Can you just imagine seeing this roll down Briley Parkway? I am sure that Jeff Foxworthy could come up with a great redneck joke about my Packratmobile!
And I will end by saying this... the next time your husband thinks you have too much "stuff"... You can tell him that at least he should be thankful that you don't come home with a van that looks like this!
Just remember: Retail is for sissies.™